The Longest Day Ever
by Kirbie
Summary: Ganondorf returns and Link has taken on the duty of defeating him again. Along the way, he meets his...significantly worse-drawn other from WindWaker and befriends a few other...odd people...-will only be updated if the authoress is inspired-
1. The Other Link and Cows

Notes: First Zelda fic, no flames. Not quite so funny, wrote this to get some writer's block off my back. If the characters are a bit OOC, I'm sorry, but they're not NORMALLY funny…and DMG is me. The Link from WindWaker is Young Link, for lack of other things to call him. Link from OOT is just Link. Contains a mix of characters from WindWaker and OOT. This might be continued. I'm not quite sure yet.

Augh. Screw what I said earlier. Going back and rereading this, Link is so OOC that I can't believe I made him like that. SORRY!!!

Disclaimer: Don't own Zelda.

Link, the Hero of Time, was standing on the fields of Hyrule when suddenly, a glowing ring of yellow light descended into the castle moat. He turned, drawing the Master Sword. 

It got stuck in the sheath.

Link yanked at it, but it wouldn't come loose. He pulled until he rolled down a very steep hill and landed face-first on the ground.

There was a boy clothed similarly like him, but he appeared almost comical, and was riding a boat with features similar to a face. A man with a very, very old face. He hopped off the boat and to shore, and they stood there blinking at each other for a while.

Link: Who are you?

Young Link: I'm Link!

Link: You're _who_?

Young Link: I'm Link!

Link: Not possible, because _my_ name is Link.

Young Link: *mouth drops open* *muttering about legends*

Link: Did you just say something about me?

Young Link: So YOU'RE the person from the legends? But didn't Hyrule get destroyed?

Link: It did WHAT?

Young Link: It got destroyed.

Link: It did WHAT?

Young Link: It. Got. Destroyed. *enunciating every word*

Link: *panic attack* IT DID WHAT?

Young Link: SHUT UP! 

Link: Well, we're _standing_ in it right now, I don't think it got destroyed.

Young Link: *blinking*

DMG: *carrying an atomic bomb* WOW! THAT RHYMED!

Link: …who are you? 

DMG: Umm…*thinking* I'm…well…

Young Link: I know! She's the evil sorcerer that came and destroyed Hyrule! Let's get her!

DMG: o.0;; So I'm a guy now?

Young Link: Yeah! You are!

Link: *blink*

DMG: OH! THAT RHYMED! THAT RHYMED!

Some random guy: Wow, she's even more annoying than Navi, and that's saying something!

Navi and DMG: I resent that!!!

Navi: *glare at DMG*

DMG: *glare at Navi*

Zelda: *randomly pops up* Hey, Ganondorf is trying to take over the world again and we need your help!

DMG: *edges away*

Zelda: Especially you, Ms. More-Annoying-Than-Navi.

Navi and DMG: I resent that!!!

Navi: *glare at DMG*

DMG: *glare at Navi*

Link: *sigh* Navi…come on! Stop fighting with the evil sorcerer!!!

DMG: Augh! What is with these rebellious characters! *goes off into a corner*

Zelda: Come back out here!

DMG: WHY SHOULD I?

Zelda: BECAUSE! YOU SHOULD! NOW!!!

DMG: Why?

Zelda: Stop acting like a spoiled brat and GET OUT OF THAT CORNER!

DMG: Humph. Why should I?

Zelda: I bet you're just scared to come out of that corner.

DMG: *raises eyebrow* I have an atomic bomb, and I'm not afraid to use it!!

Zelda: Er, I mean, you have lots of courage! Even more than Link!

DMG: ^_^

Link: I resent that.

*film shows of Link running away, screaming like a girl at the sight of a Stalfos*

Link: Hey. Everyone knows that you made me do that. 'Cause you're scared of Stalfoses.

DMG: I really, really resent that. Of course I'm not scared of Stalfoses.

Stalfos: *pops up* BOO!

DMG: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *runs away*

Everyone: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *runs out of air* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *choke*

Suddenly…

Young Link: Hey, you're leaving me out.

DMG: I'm sorry, I didn't notice. 

Everyone: *is staring*

DMG: Er. I mean, well…you wouldn't understand anything we're talking about.

King of Red Lions: I'm pleased to see you again, Link. It's been a while.

Link: *blink* Uh…we just saw each other yesterday.

King of Red Lions: You…did? We did? 

Link: Of course we did!

DMG: *swoon* You realize that had a double meaning?

Link: YOU PERVERT! *whacks her over the head with the Master Sword*

DMG: Hey, I happen to know that I have an atomic bomb and I'm not afraid to use it!

Everyone: *giving her funny looks* And…how do you know this?

DMG: I'm…psychic? *mentally thinking, _Wow these people are stupid. I'm holding an atomic bomb right in front of Link's face._*

Fortune Teller: Hey, that's my job.

DMG: Go away. Who are you anyway?

Fortune Teller: I'm…*long pause*

Navi: Yeah, yeah, get on with it already…

Fortune Teller: I'm a ReDead!

*very, very, VERY long pause*

DMG: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Link: *shakes head* That girl is scared of everything.

DMG: Oh yeah? *uses magical powers to make Zill from WindWaker (the kid with the stuff coming out his nose) appear*

Zill: HI! 

Link: *screams* *runs off yelling "AHHHHH! THE UNSANITARY-NESS!"*

Zelda: It's very nice to see Link running around screaming at the top of his lungs, but what about Ganondorf?

*Malon, from Lon Lon Ranch, rides up to the hysterical group.*

Malon: Did I hear you talking about Ganondorf?

Zelda: *nod* Do you know where he is?

Malon: I saw him heading up the hill to the right of Lon Lon Ranch, riding a black horse.

*long pause*

Link: A horse?? *panic attack*

DMG: Ooo, Link's scared of horses…

Malon: Yeah well, ever since Epona threw you off during the obstacle course, he's been scared of horses.

DMG: Admit it, you're scared of them!!

Link: Okay, okay…I'm scared of horses!!!

DMG: *holds up video tape machine* I've got it right here on tape…wonder how much it'll be worth on eBay?

Link: GIVE ME THAT! *chases after DMG*

Zelda: Hey. Guys. We're supposed to be going after Ganondorf…*poke* 

Young Link: Yeah! Let's go beat him up! *accidentally waves the WindWaker around into the Ballad of Gales. They warp to Jabu Jabu's belly.* 

DMG: Since when could the Ballad of Gales bring you into a fish's belly?

Link: …I see cows.

Young Link: You do? I don't see cows. I see COWS.

*Link and Young Link proceed to get into an argument about cows.*

*Young Link warps them all to Death Mountain. Don't ask me how.*

*long pause*

Link: How did that happen?

*everyone else is too busy melting to be of much use*

Link: Why is everyone melting?

DMG: HOT!

Link: Oh.

*pause*

DMG: WELL? CAN'T YOU DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT?

Link: Uh…no.

Everyone: *ranting at Link*

*Suddenly, they are in the Lost Woods.*

Saria: Hi Link, hi Zelda! Who are all these other people?

Link: People who need to be sent to a mental asylum.

Young Link: I resent that. I'm not crazy. All I said was that I saw cows.

Link: I saw cows too!

Young Link: Yeah, well I saw COWS! SO HA!

*They get into another argument*

DMG: This…will be a long day…

That sucked. Horribly. Well, R+R…no flames, 'cause I can't take them. I know this wasn't funny though.

__


	2. Digital Cameras and More Cows

Thanks to everyone for reviewing!! Sorry about the slow updates! More Young Link in this, I think, especially near the end…

Chapter 2

Digital Cameras and More Cows

~One Hour after Last Chapter~

Young Link: I saw cows, not cows!!

Link: Well, I saw COWS!!!

DMG: Guess what?

Young Link and Link: What?

DMG: Those weren't cows.

Young Link: Wha-? They had to be cows!

DMG: Well…they weren't.

Link: Then what were they?

DMG: *dramatic pause* Cows.

Zelda: *falls over* 

DMG: Anyways, shouldn't we be getting on with this little "Get Rid of Ganondorf" mission?

Zelda: Yes…of course…

Young Link: *waves WindWaker* *brings them to…the WindWaker dimension!!!*

DMG: Hey, do you have the Deluxe Picto-Box?

Young Link: Yup!

DMG: *whisper. whisper* Can I borrow it?

Young Link: Sure. *gives Deluxe Picto-Box to DMG*

DMG: YESSSSS!!! *jumps into the air* Okay…let's go find Ganondorf!

Link: Do we have to?

Zelda: Yes, we do. First stop…Earth Temple. (A/N: I'm not quite so sure about the Earth part. Maybe it was Forest. But I haven't played WW in a while so I can't remember….)

Saria: Earth Temple? Cool! Sounds sort of like the Forest Temple!

Link: Is it scary?

DMG: Yeah.

Link: How scary?

DMG: Well, how scary do you think Floor Masters and ReDead and Stalfos and Beamos are? And falling coffins and poes and…MEDLI? (A/N: I think she's sort of ugly. But I don't hate her.)

Link: *twitch* 

DMG: ^_^ *gets camera ready*

Link: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *starts running around in circles screaming his head off*

DMG: *click* *click* Anyone got a laptop? I need to start putting these up for auction…

Zelda: AHEM! Let's go!

~They board the King of Red Lions~

DMG: AHHH! ABANDON SHIP! IT'S SINKING!

Link: Well, it's OBVIOUS that it's because you're waaaay too fat!

DMG: Careful, or I might just set Epona on you…

Link: *screams* *jumps off the ship* AAHHH! DROWNING! DROWNING! YOU STUPID SHIP! GET BACK HERE!!

DMG: *click* *click* AHH! I FORGOT ABOUT THE STUPID PICTO-BOX'S THREE PICTURE LIMIT!!!!!!!!

Young Link: -_-;;

Link: Yes! She ran out of film!

DMG: Thankfully, I have my little digital camera here with me today…^_^

Link: X.X

Young Link: Can I have my Picto-Box back yet?

DMG: Sorry, but no…I have to sell these on eBay first.

Link: @.@ There goes my reputation…down the drain…

*sound of toilet flushing* 

Zelda: Anyways, we're here. I sense something wrong with Medli.

DMG: Maybe she got sick. *falsely uncheerful voice*

Zelda: No…not physically. More like spiritually.

DMG: Maybe she died spiritually.

Zelda: No…not spiritually.

DMG: Maybe she died. LITERALLY.

Navi: Looks like I've met someone who beats me in annoyingness.

DMG: Does that mean she died literally?

Zelda: -_-;; No.

DMG: What about metaphorically? Not as good as literally, but still…

Zelda: . NO!

DMG: Figuratively?

Zelda: *has steam coming out of her ears*

DMG: That's it. She died. End of story.

Zelda: ARGH!!

DMG: *click* *click*

Zelda: IF YOU TAKE ANY MORE PICTURES I'LL HAVE TO HAVE THAT STUPID THING CONFISCATED! WHATEVER IT IS!!

DMG: *sulks* Fine then. Hey Link, I see a ReDead…

Link: AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Young Link: Sheesh. How dense can you be? There wouldn't be a ReDead floating around in an ocean…

*At that precise moment, a ReDead floats by singing its horrible paralyzing song*

Everyone: *paralyzed*

DMG: *finger keeps pressing the button so she is taking pictures of the floating ReDead*

Everyone: *now unparalyzed*

DMG: OMG! How many pictures did I take of Link's face? How much film did I waste exactly?

Saria: DMG, that was the ReDead…

DMG: o.0;; I thought it was Link's face. (A/N: Actually, I think Link is sorta cute. But it was funny.)

Link: Hey! I'm not that ugly!

*mirrors shatter*

Link: *raises eyebrow*

DMG: -_-;; Sorry…couldn't resist the sound effects…

Zelda: ANYWAYS…into the temple we go…

DMG: Uhh…can we think this over?

Zelda: Nope. We have to go see Medli.

DMG: But I have almighty authoress powers! AND I have an atomic bomb! WHICH I STILL HAVE NOT USED!

Zelda: Okay Link…pick up the big heavy rock that just so happens to be shaped like a Stalfos…the one that is moving and has a big pointy weapon in its hand…

Young Link: Are you out of your _mind_?

Link: Stalfos? Where?!?!?!? *running around screaming*

DMG: *click* *click*

*bomb flies over from nowhere and sets the Stalfos-shaped rock on fire*

Everyone: Wha-?

Tetra: Hi everyone!!!

DMG: I wonder if she spooks easily…hey look, Tetra! There's a Stalfos behind you!

Tetra: Uh, no, whoever you are…there's one behind YOU…

DMG: O.O;; EH? *turns around* *sees huge looming Stalfos behind her* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *runs away*

Young Link: I wish I had my Picto-Box. Then we could have gotten revenge. *evil face* Okay, I'm normal now…*scary face* BWAHAHAHAHA! *returns to normal* Why are you guys all staring?

Saria: You're PMS-ing. And I never thought it was possible for a _guy_ to PMS.

Young Link: ….!! *pulls out LARGE hammer*

Everyone: EEP!

Young Link: ^.^

DMG: How do I kill a Stalfos? How do I kill a Stalfos? *panic attack* *whips out digital camera* AHA!!!!!!!!!!!! *click* *click* *click*

Stalfos: *blink* *blink blink*

Link: O.O;; She's lost it.

Young Link: Yeah…

Tetra: Hey Link, who's she? *points at DMG* She certainly seems a bit strange.

Young Link: A photographer. Of embarassing scenes.

Tetra: Interesting.

Link: .

Zelda: Believe me…it's not interesting.

Young Link: Yeah, she plans to sell them on this place called eBay for money.

Tetra: …sounds…profitable…

Everyone: .

~Eventually, they manage to kill the Stalfos.~

Zelda: Okay…everyone inside now…

~They have been walking for a while now, when all of a sudden a big huge Floor Master comes out of the floor and tries to eat them alive!~

*loud gasps*

Young Link: *giving DMG funny looks* That's not really that funny…

Link: YOU BET IT'S NOT! *running back and forth across the room trying to escape the angry Floor Master*

Young Link: …I didn't mean that…I meant the sound effects.

Saria: What sound effects?

Young Link: I'm hearing things! *takes out earplugs*

Harry Potter: *randomly pops up* Hearing voices isn't a good thing, even in the wizarding world.

Young Link: Well, it's not the wizarding world, and they're not voices! THEY'RE SOUND EFFECTS!

Harry Potter: …oh. *vanishes*

Zelda: What sound effects are you talking about?

DMG: ARE YOU DEAF!?!?! *turns up the speakerphones to full volume* *screams through loudspeakers* CAN – YOU – HEAR – ME – NOW!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

*Link screams. LOUDLY.*

Link: HELP!!!!!

Floor Master: Nyuk nyuk nyuk! Nwahahaha! I have this….green person here! Bwahaha! One move and he goes somewhere else!

Link: O.O You called me a green person?

Floor Master: Yup yup.

DMG: This Floor Master is embarassing.

Floor Master: Yup yup.

DMG: O.O

Link: You called me GREEN!?!?!

Young Link: Well, you are green…

Link: Look who's talking, green boy!

Young Link: I'm green? I always thought I was purple…or blue…or red. Yeah, I think that was it…

Everyone: …-_-

DMG: *frantically takes out WW guidebook* HOW DO I BEAT THIS *censored* *censored* THING!?!?!?! *sees Stalfos emerge from shadows* OH DOUBLE *censored*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Young Link: Uhh…*whips out sword and bombs*

DMG: GAHH! OH SCREW THIS! *throws guidebook in Stalfos's mouth* Here. Eat. Now.

Stalfos: @_@ _;; EWW! *dies*

DMG: …Eww…Stalfos slobber…*wipes hands on Link's tunic*

Link: -_- I need a change of clothes…

Arren [friend that has a guidebook]: O_O DMG! YOU KILLED MY GUIDEBOOK!!!

DMG: Oh…s-*censored*

Tetra: Err…someone pressed the button too late…

DMG: GET THE FU-*censored* AWAY FROM ME! *runs, screaming bloody murder, out of the room* I'LL BUY YOU A NEW ONE! JUST STOP CHASING ME!

Arren: *growls* *eyes glow red*

DMG: Oh for the love of….O________________O

Young Link: *pokes DMG* Uh, we've got a problem…

Link: *mouth falls open*

DMG: I've got problems too…we've all got problems…the world has problems…we might as well stick it in a microwave…

Everyone: Uhh…

DMG: ^^;; Never mind…

Link: *mouth falls open about another six inches*

Young Link: *pokes repeatedly* I SAID WE HAVE A PROBLEM!!!

DMG: *smashes pot on Arren's head* I said not now!

Young Link: I SAY WE HAVE A PROBLEM!!!

DMG: WELL, I SAY NOT NOW!

Arren: @____@ My head…*falls over…onto other Floor Master*

Link: Um, my Floor Master is licking me…

DMG: O__________O I could have gone my whole life without knowing that *faints dead away*

Arren: HELLLLLP! IT'S EATING ME!

Link: HELP ME! HE'S LICKING ME!

Young Link: O____O;;

Zelda: *zaps Floor Master that's holding Arren*

Tetra: *stabs Link's Floor Master, eyes glow red* DON'T TOUCH MY LINKY-POO!

DMG: What the *censored*???? -_- This *censored* censoring is getting _annoying_…yo, technical dude! FIX THE CENSORING!!

~Behind the Scenes~

Technical Dude: Kyahahahaha…*programs weird virus into program* That's for not paying me a salary! I'm outta here! *runs*

DMG: BUT I DO PAY YOU A SALARY! YOU JUST LOSE IT ALL THE TIME!

Technical Dude: *pauses* Oh well. Then I get to see you lose your mind. *buys popcorn and sits in first row*

DMG: -_- *boots Technical Dude's *censored* out of the so-called 'theatre'* Screw you.

~Back in the Earth Temple~

Arren: o_O Did Tetra just call Link "Linky-poo"????

Tetra: Linky-winky!!

Zelda: Why I _never_!!

Arren: *faints*

Young Link: *snicker*

Link: Hey, don't laugh. You're going to turn out like this in the end too.

Young Link: But I'm 2-D! You can't…er…

DMG: *comes back from kicking personnel's butts* Don't finish that. I mean, look at Paper Mario. He was *bomb*ing made out of _paper_…and he still got with Princess Peach, who was also *flute*ing made out of _paper_…how the *surfboard* can someone like someone who goes around doing ballet as a form of acceleration all day?

Saria: …Is it just me, or did you just say bombing and fluting and surfboard?

DMG: Uhh…

Everyone: *looks at each other*

DMG: *swears so much that everyone covers their ears* I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE DONE WORSE THAN KICK THAT GUY'S ARSE FROM HERE TO PLUTO AND BACK!

Arren: That's pretty harsh already…

DMG: DO I LOOK LIKE THE TYPE TO CARE?

Arren: …Point.

Young Link: She is a baaaad influence…we should kick her out of this adventure.

DMG: *fumes* If you do that, I'll make you "accidentally" fall into a lake full of piranahs and let them eat you…

Link: I wonder if the inside of piranahs also look like cows?

Zelda: Now that I think about it, Jabu-Jabu might just be a piranah. We don't know this for certain…

Young Link: They're _cows_, not _cows_.

Link: No, they're COWS!!!!!

DMG: NOOOO! THEY STARTED AGAIN!!!

Young Link: COWS!

Link: No, COWS!

Young Link: COWS!!!

Link: COWS!!

Everyone: _;;

DMG: HOW CAN THIS DAY STILL BE GOING ON????? IT'S BEEN LIKE 74 HOURS!!!

Everyone: _;;

DMG: *sighs* This is…going to STAY a very long day…

[Notes]: Wow. I updated.

Arren is real, and yes, that's where I get my WW-ness from. I didn't do much temple development because I haven't played WW for forever. I need to steal their guide…but he's a girl! XDD


End file.
